i cheated :: stupid stupid

This month has been challenging, eye opening and boring food wise all rolled up into one.  I now have a love/hate relationship with the chicken.  I love the chicken because of the physical nourishment it brings me but oh my golly… the plain ole chicken.  I’ve even dreamed of the fried chicken.  Still will be dreaming.

I went to the grocery because the husband has been ill.  HUGE, BIG, HUGE mistake.  I got to dreaming down the healthy food isles and purchased some gluten/dairy free items for next weekend.  It’s awesome how many items are now gluten/dairy free.  Good to know that I won’t be too bored in this new way of living.  HUGE, BIG, HUGE mistake because I came across these lovelies  ::

I thought.. why not.. a hand full of peanuts didn’t hurt anything week before last… I realize I was breaking the fast but I was really hungry.  Just a couple won’t hurt anything.  HEH.  I ate the whole bag people.  They were SOOOO good.  But I ATE THE whole bag.

Just lovely.  But isn’t that just like us?  When God clearly says there is an area in your life that I need to break you of, we think that we can handle taking pieces of it back.  I attempt to rationalize.. if I could just control this one little area… or if I can just have my own way, then I’ll be happier.  My flesh stinks.

Or the banter starts in my head, “I’ve done so well, it’s day 20, it’ll be okay.”  It wasn’t okay.  Eating them wasn’t the issue.  Breaking my fast with God was.

I fessed up and emailed the council.  They were so kind.

No worries. Hang in there my sweet as we are heading to the finish line!  Even though I have apples and they are crunchy I miss that crunchy texture too. It has ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be but I think that is the point! – L

In the name of Jesus Christ….you are  FORGIVEN!!!!!  Love and hugs – R

Anytime my lack of self control or my pride rares up it’s nasty head, it’s time for some introspection and death.  It’s time for some focus on His Word and Him. It’s time to just get over myself.  It’s day 26.  5 more days of the fast.. a life time of eating differently.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139:23-24

Note: Ain’t no paid advertisement by American Bounty Foods. Just sharing this awesome cashew, man. Just sharing the awesome.

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